It’s one of those rare days where I feel really good and happy with myself. I wish I knew what was different about today so I could bottle it and replicate it every day. I suppose if every day was great we would stop appreciating the good ones and just get used to it. Well my mood has been low for quite some time and I never have as much energy as I’ve had today. Honestly, I cleaned the flat, exercised and came out for lunch – all this by 3pm! It wasn’t all perfect and trouble free, I’m still stumbling around when my legs tire, my handwriting is shocking as I write this and I had to drive to the coffee shop instead of walking. But I suppose that’s the difference right there – I’m doing it all even though I’m fatigued and struggling. I imagine I’ll pay for this activity tonight or tomorrow so I’m just going to enjoy the euphoria while it lasts. It’s like the song by Elbow
“One day like this a year will keep me right”
Well, I’m not that reasonable and quite frankly one good day a year just won’t cut it! However it’s been a while and a day like today reminds me that all the medication and everything I do and all the effort I put in to stay as well as possible, to stay sane(ish) and to put off my descent into a pit of depression are worth it.
There have been a lot of darker days and it’s been rougher for a couple of years now but maybe today is a nice light at the end of the tunnel. I’m realistic though, tomorrow may not be as good and there will be dark days in the future but today I’m hopeful.
As another song says
“I get knocked down but I get up again. You ain’t never gonna keep me down”
I’m very musical today, might go play my ukulele 🙂